


Devoid.

by RiseTheHorizon



Category: Denis Villeneuve, Fourth wall break - Fandom, Screenplay - Fandom, Snappy, film - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-21
Updated: 2016-02-21
Packaged: 2018-05-16 02:08:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5809408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RiseTheHorizon/pseuds/RiseTheHorizon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From the writer of Dark Identities, This Was Not Supposed To Happen & Account comes a snappy dark love story about depression and desire.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

I have always had an issue with knowing people.

I mean, I do know people; I know loads, including John Travolta. But I don't really know them. I am not certain of the person they actually are.

That all changed when I met a woman by the name of: Eva Scarlett.

No, she is not a porn star.

 

Before I indulge, this is not a story about love.

 

I'll start with the first few things that you would find on a dating website profile:

Harry Thomas Scott.

26.

6' 2''

147lb.

Dirty blonde hair.

San Clemente, California - Originally from County Durham(That's in England, you un-educated Americans.)

Allergic to mustard.

Loves Arcade Fire and Cage The Elephant.

Knee deep in Game Of Thrones.

Villeneuve is love. Villeneuve is life.

 

Referring back to what I previously said: I have always had an issue with knowing people.

Maybe it was my exposure to video games. Maybe it was the fact that my parents divorced. Maybe it's the fact that when I was 7, I was diagnosed with a form of Autism called: Asperger's Syndrome... Jack Thompson has $20 on the first option.

 

With that in mind, I would like to ask you quite a personal question:

If your aunt and her daughter were curvaceous and had very large breasts, what would you do about it?

(Not being sexist, but women can't take part in this question. Don't worry, you'll get your turn.)

Who here would do nothing?

Who here would jack off to their pics once, then feel really guilty and estrange your relationship between them?

Who here would jack off to their pics multiple times?

Who here would go further?

I went further. Like, next galaxy further.

There is a certain sensation that a man gets when he feels a woman's clothes on his skin.

 

Yeah, this is that kind of story. Grab some fucking popcorn.

 

There was nothing wonky about my upbringing... Tom Hardy, Bronson.

I'm going to end up doing that quite a lot, shoe-horning a film quote in for no other reason to serve my pretentious ego.

 

Growing up, I always wanted to make films. Horror films, action films, romance films: Films. Films. Films.

That's why I started writing.

In a way, screen-writing is an easier craft to get into; your vision is usually the basis of a film and it is much quicker to write a script than it is to direct one.

However, it is very rare that you will watch a film that had a seven directors on it. And you can't direct a film and then have someone else come in and direct the exact same film and also claim a credit... Happens with screenwriters though.

Now, I am one of those people who will work on dozens of projects at once, rather than focus all of your time and energy on one project. This isn't exactly a desired strategy: You'll end up with loads of potential screenplays waiting with no depth or running themes lying within. Plus you will return to a screenplay with weeks or even months in-between, leaving the film being bland and lifeless.

 

You know what, I think that we need a bonding exercise that we know each other a little more, play along at home:

Favourite film: Ooh, that is a loaded question right there.

Favourite book: Of Mice & Men, excuse me while I tend to my alfalfa.

Favourite song: Sunshine by Calypso Twins. If you know who they are, then you know that I'm lying.

Favourite tv show: Rick & Morty.

Favourite food: Is that a fat joke?

Favourite bond: Surgical. Take that banter to the face George Lazenby!

Favourite Olsen twin: Elizabeth, fuck you.

Was this section a pointless slam of exposition? Pretty much, yeah.


	2. Are you busy, Mr Cameron?

So this story begins with myself at the premier of a movie which I wrote: Hollow Harry.

You're gonna' forget that within ten minutes.

It's okay, everyone else will.

"Hollow Harry is a psychological thriller that follows Anthony, a graphic novel illustrator who struggles with insomnia. One night, while burning the midnight oil, Anthony discovers that the shadows don't look like they used to before. What lurks behind the door?" - Al Yuri, my producer.

Al's an swell guy, just has an issue with the modern complexities of the film going public.

Anyway, we start at the Hollow Harry première, attended by the people who made the film and seven other people. That's sixteen people.

Aaron Sorkin is major jelly!

So, at the première was a woman by the name of Eva Scarlett Spiegelmann, a film journalist.

Through the power of investigative espionage(and Twitter) I discovered that he real name is Kate Arterton.

As someone who uses a pseudonym for his own work, I can understand the security of using a false name. Your pseudonym is the version of yourself that could exist if you could be bothered and put in effort, because who actually puts in effort in life?

Kate had attended the première of all of my screen-writing ventures: Beyond Tedium, Cash & Cashew Nuts, The Vast Reaches Of The Infinite and now, Hollow Harry, I should get her checked out.

In a way, a filmography can be parallel to a memoir.

Starting with the cautious optimism of Beyond Tedium, then the swings and roundabouts of Cash & Cashew Nuts, then the peak of the precipice of The Vast Reaches Of The Infinite and the mellow standard that is Hollow Harry. However, if this is true, this does mean that Danny Boyle's life is the wildest roller-coaster on the face of this Earth.

Throughout this pick of flicks that I would describe as affluently wrote but crucially lacking in direction, performance and font choice low budget indie films, Kate was always there giving her opinion to the readers of the Frontbrook Observer. Not all of them good. #Pray4Harry

Kate was around my age, around my intellect, around my film intellect and around my area. If you're having trouble imagining her, imagine the face of Dakota Johnson with the body of Rooney Mara. Actually let me re-phrase that: She is the mirror image of Dakota Johnson.

Actually, whoever gets to adapt this, I want Dakota Johnson to play Kate. Can someone make this happen? Oh, make sure that I am played by the GREATEST ACTOR TO HAVE EVER LIVED; Kirk Cameron... And I love hot chocolate.

People always say that the person you should marry is the person that has been with you all of your life.

That's bullshit.

I married Kate for a bunch of other reasons.


End file.
